Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
