just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
