The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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