I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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