from now on my penis is your penis
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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