you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
