ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
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So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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