I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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