I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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