I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My vagina just clenched in fear
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
