Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
