It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!