They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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