I'm so fucking centered right now
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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