I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
