Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
