did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
