Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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