census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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