yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
