oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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