For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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