I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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