Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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