The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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