just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
