Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
