So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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