the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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