I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
