oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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