im six kinds of drunk right now
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
