is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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