I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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