Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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