you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's great music for shaving your balls
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
