You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
