if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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