im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
