Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
