the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
