What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
