I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
