we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
