I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
