i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My vagina is officially offended.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
