Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i've created a new STD.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He shit in the fireplace
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