4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Farmville is her only friend.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
