Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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