I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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