i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
