let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize