Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
