what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
