i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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