Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
