you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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