The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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