I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
