If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
